OwlPost
by Hari Tsuki
Summary: Sam, Elodie, and Anna go to school at Salem Academy in the lovely USA, and the teachers decide to set up a pen pal project with the Hogwarts 6th years in England. Because there are more Hogwarts students than Salem students, for every one Salem student th
1. Chapter 1

Person-who-has-received-this-letter-via-owl,  
For the rest of this letter I am going to give you reasons NOT to owl me back!  
I will try to keep it short as not to bore you, our fine school teachers do enough of that for me. Anyway I wish for you not to write back so that I have an excuse not to write these rather silly letters, or is it pointless... oh well!  
Ok here is where I start to give you reasons not to write back, are you ready?  
1. You and I will both benifit by us not having to write to one another, and if the teachers ask why we will just say that the other person takes a while or send blank sheets of paper!  
2. I heard that in England you are all big on the whole 'I'm pureblood' 'I'm muggleborn' thing. You see I am pureblood, but as an American I really don't give a rip! So if that's a turn off or whatever there's another reason! If not... well there's another sterotype down the drain.  
3. I'm not exactly a 'good' person. No I do NOT support that Voldemort character (maybe another point for you?) but I am no goody goody like all you prissy little English types... again possibly another sterotype but whatever. I could be right! Also notice how I didn't put 'dear' next to your name. Don't know you enough to call you dear... sorry!  
As you can plainly see I am not a great person to talk to but hey, if you need a good prank I'm always there... not that you should write back!!! Crap... I'm trying to convince you not to write and I wrote something good... in INK!!! Oh well.  
Anyway I'm Samantha Wolffe, but everyone calls me either Wolf or Sam... don't try anything different if you do write!!! Bloody English Gits... *laughs*  
Anyway... Peace!!!!  
Samantha Wolffe

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Hogwarts-whoever-you-are,  
How's it going? I'm going to start with the boring basics so bare with it. My name is Anna Ramsli and I'm 16. On the outside, I'm your typical American witch, but on the inside? I'm your over-the-top, abnormal prankster! If you don't think that's dangerous, well, I'd have to where exactly you come from. Then again, you do live in England. Things are probably different there.  
There's another thing about me. I ramble- a lot. It's not anything I can help really. I just jump from one topic to the next. Although my teachers haven't really noticed I don't think. They would say I have ambition and that I'm normal. They don't know anything.  
I know I ramble, too. There's not much I could do about it. Mostly I ramble when I'm nervous or like right now, when I'm writing this quickly only so I can get it over and done with and I can go and read a book or something.  
Anyway, I have two best friends and co-pranksters. They're Sam and Elodie and they're dangerous, too (insert mischievous smile here).  
I have enemies, too, but they're to unimportant to be talked about.  
So, there you have it. The boring need-to-know stuff about me. I must be going now because that book is waiting on the table for me to pick it up and read it. Not that it is magical and has feelings or whatever. It's just a figure of speech.  
Always and Forever,  
Anna Ramsli

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hiya Peeps! (And by peeps, I mean Hogwarts students who are receiving my letter.)  
My name is Elodie Knight. I'm a blond haired blue eyed prankster queen. (And no, that's not bragging, that's honesty.) Obviously I go to Salem Academy. I'm a straight O student, if you can believe it. My best friends are Samantha Wolffe and Anna Ramsli. We are all geniuses who embrace our bad sides. We specialize in revenge, and useless torturing of preppy people. However we have a newfound respect for the bookish. They have some really mean hexes… Like this muggle girl named Ryn. Some guy was picking on her and she hung him by his underwear from the chandelier. It was awesome. I made her teach me it and used it to pin Courtney Michaels to the ceiling in a broom closet. (But don't tell anyone that. No one's supposed to know.)  
Anyway, I love animals and storms and creating spells. I have an unhealthy obsession with dragons (I have a small dragon tattoo on by lower back. That's another secret.) and my favorite element is air. I am a pieces (born in March, actually), and I tend to babble a bit (though not as much as Anna.) Speak of the devil…. Anna is up speaking in front of the class, and you can barely tell one word from the next. Sam is sending goo balls at the teacher when he's not looking (trust me… you don't wanna know.)  
Uh oh. My turn. God Help Me ..… Please. Gotta go.  
Sincerely (or not. You'll never know.)  
Elodie


	2. Chapter 2

Wolffe,  
You're right. We shouldn't write to each other. The only reason I'm writing back is because we are required to write at least one letter. And I'm really bored so I might as well write something instead of just sending a blank piece of parchment.  
I'm Lucius Malfoy and my school house is Slytherin. We have different houses, each one with students who have certain characteristics. Us Slytherins are the better students. Gryffindors are all conceited, Ravenclaws are smart-alacks, and Hufflepuffs are air-heads.  
I don't expect to hear back from you,  
Lucius

Dear Crazy American,  
You think a lot of things that aren't true. Remus says none of these stereotypes are real, but I'm still confused at to what a stereotype is so yeah. That's not true. If you want 'prissy' talk to Malfoy or Lestrange or Snape. Or even Sirius. But I'm not 'prissy' thank you very much. Also, I am a prankster. In fact, I am an infamous prankster in our school. Not even remotely 'prissy'. I have to write to you. Apparently we will fail this class if we don't so...yeah. I'm still writing.  
"Bloody English Gits!" - thanks for the compliment.  
Your Fellow Prankster,  
James Potter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Miss Ramsli,  
It's... nice to meet you. I am Severus Snape, and I am also 16. I am writing in my dorm room right now and wondering if all Americans are this... odd. Is this just how you react to having to write a letter or do you usually sound that flippent?  
I will await your reply,  
Severus.

Dear Anna Ramsli,  
My name is Remus Lupin, and surprise surprise! I'm sixteen too. I feel the need to point out that us English folk have just as many pranksters as you Americans do. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. As for the rambling...yeah, I can tell. That's not necessarily a bad thing though. Some people find it endearing; even cute. Teachers don't necessarily know nothing. They can be oblivious, sure, and often are, but they must know things to be able to teach you things, true? Also, don't worry about the book expression. I too feel that call all to often. My best friends sometimes try to cast a destickifying spell, thinking that an enemy has somehow managed to stick my nose to my book. Needless to say, this has resulted in the singeing of a few books and me almost being banned from the library. Sirius and James were banned from the library, for all of one week, though they never noticed as they never go in there anyway.  
Your English Penpal, (the not drab one)  
Remus Lupin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elodie,  
So very nice to meet you! You seem like the kind of person I was hoping to get to write to! But first a few questions... what's a pieces? And why, when you said she was your friend, call her the devil?  
Anyway there is good news for you, I will not rat you out on your little "secrets". Well... only if you teach me the little spell you just learned.  
My name is Sirius Black, and I am what you may know as Prankster Royaltiy in these parts. Me and my mates are responsible for everything that goes wrong here! We call our fine selves the Mauraders. There are four of us including me... and let's just say no one can keep up with out many tricks and ways...  
Let's be friends!  
Sirius

Dear Elodie,  
It's nice to meet you! I'm Lily Evans and I'm also a straight O student! It sounds like you have a lot of fun pranking with your friends. I'm not much of a prankster myself, but there are four boys here who are famous for that. What are preppy people and why do you torture them? I don't think we have preppy people here in England, but maybe we refer to them as something else? The four boys I know torture one person in particular. He used to be my best friend, but we're not that close anymore.  
I hope to here from you soon!  
Signed and Sealed,  
Lily


	3. Chapter 3

Lucy,

I know I sent you a blank yesterday, but my teacher found out and is now looking over my shoulder. I have another penpal, and I think he thinks you are a little off base on the houses. Care to explain?

Wolffe

Dear Funny Talking English Man,

I may think a lot of things that aren't true, but that is my nature it is a necessity that makes me human as well! And they may not be stereotypes where you are but they sure as heck are here! And a stereotype is when you assume something about someone before really meeting or getting to know them by where they are from or how they I am already talking to Malfoy... I think I shall name him Lucy... Anyway how are you NOT prissy? Please explain. Sure, you're a prankster, whatever you say.... Infamous? Never heard of you, not even from Lucy... though the guy writes very short letters...I do not wish for you to fail a class so we might as well try to help one another out... I can tell by the way you talk you probably get slapped a lot, am I wrong? Do you wish to have another compliment? I am sure I can accommodate!

Your Prankster Ruler,

Samantha Wolffe

Dear Severus,

First off, I love your name! It's so cool compared to my really boring one. Do you really find me odd? I guess I understand. I've heard you English people are very proper and such so of course you'd find me odd.I'm not quite sure what to make of you calling me flippant, though. I asked my friends Elodie and Sam if they thought I was flippant. Sam said, "You can be a little out of it, but i don't see why you would flip people off." I don't think she understood my question but that's OK. She's usually like , though, said, ""You just ramble, you're not flippant." So there you go! I'm not flippant! I ramble!

Always and Forever,

Anna

Dear Remus,

You're friends sound very interesting! Though I can't believe they'd stick a book to your nose! I'm guessing they're not the bookworm type like you and me.I'm sitting in class while writing this, which is probably not a good thing. I'm a good student and I usually get Os but you have to agree that History of Magic is not one of the better subjects in school. On top of that, our teacher is one of those that drags along in a monotonous voice, which doesn't make the subject anymore interesting. I think she's talking about the ancient Chinese alchemists and how some of them were wizards. At least it's better than last week's topic which was the first ever wizards and their discoveries.I guess I'll end my letter here, because I really have nothing else to write without rambling on about the History of Magic.

Always and Forever,

Anna

Dear Sirius,

A pieces is an astrological sign that you're born under depending on what month and day you were born on. Speak of the devil is the first part of a phrase that ends in and he shall appear, or something along those lines. Meaning, talk about her babbling, and there she is, babbling. I will not share the spell. I do not give in to blackmail. Prankster Royalty huh? Are you insulting our pranking by saying no one can keep up with you? I can top anything that you can do.

Your Friend,

Elodie

Hiya Lily!

Preppy people are mostly girls (but also guys) who are absurdly obsessed with their looks and designer clothes and things like that. They are annoying and most are weirdly cruel to anyone not in their 'clique'. That is why we torture them. I'm curious about these pranksters of yours. Who are they? Are they any good at what they do? And most importantly, Are They Cute And Single?OW! Anna was reading over my shoulder and she wacked me over the head. Sam tried to laugh and started choking on her gum and was sent to the nurses office to calm down. Oh no. Now I have to lend her my notes!OW! Why must she keep hitting me? Of course I'm not worried about Sam! Stuff like this happens all the time to her!OW!! I think I'll just stop writing now. Maybe it'll save my head. Oh look, now Anna is angry at me. Look, it's not my fault you hit hard!OW! I'm just stopping now.

Your Abused Friend,

Elodie


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I forgot a disclaimer for the first three, but you probably already know that anything you recognize does not belong to us. However, Elodie, Anna, and Sam do! ^^

Wolffe,  
DON'T CALL ME LUCY! It's Lucius and I can hex you to oblivion.  
I don't think I'm off base at all. Ask your other penpal what the Sorting Hat sang and he will tell you. Anyway, how long until your teacher stops looking over your shoulder?  
Not anxious for a reply,  
Lucius

Dear Wolffe,  
I am not prissy. Period. Now that we've got that sorted out, no I do not get slapped. That implies that I chase girls, and there is only one girl that I chase. My Lilykins. Yes Sirius, that is a name, dangit. Bloody idiot. Anyway, I'm completely devoted to my beloved Lily, and will not ever stray. So why am I still chasing the love of my life? She doesn't realize how perfect we'd be together, but that doesn't discourage me. Remus says I'm a thickheaded fool. He just doesn't understand true love.  
I adore compliments, my liege.  
Your Loyal Servant,  
James Potter  
PS: You write to Lucy Malfoy? (Sirius compliments your choice of names.) He's a git. Watch out for him. Don't even bother reading his letters. He's likely to curse them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Miss Anna,  
In my next letter I believe I will start calling you Dear Anna, but I decided to let you have the chance to stop me. I do find you odd but I do not believe that all English people are proper, I have four examples of just the opposite...  
You may take me calling you flippant in any good way you wish. You're friend Sam reminds me of the four examples but the one you called Elodie sounds very bright. Rambling is a better word for your last letter.  
Looking forward to your reply,  
Severus Snape

Dear Anna,  
I know exactly how you feel. Our History of Magic teacher, Professor Binns, died last year. The Problem? He still got up again the next day to come teach us. No he's not a Zombie! He's a ghost. And unfortunately that's not as cool as it sounds. He's just as boring now as he was when he was alive.  
Crap! Sorry if the paper seems a bit wet. Our school Poltergeist, Peeves, just dumped a bucket of water over Sirius's head. Guess it's revenge for Sirius having cursed him to having a Christmas song as background music last week. Some of it splashed over on me, and it didn't help when Sirius tried to send the water soaring back at Peeves only to have it fall back down on him; AGAIN. Anyway, gotta go. Got Care of Magical Creatures next, and I don't want the paper to get even more messed up. (Can you imagine what could get on a piece of paper in Care of Magical Creatures?)  
Your Waterlogged Penpal,  
Remus

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elodie,  
I have received your message of war and humbly accept to the challenge. We duel at dawn...ish. Probably after because I can not wake up. We will both see that I can beat you hands tied at pranking. I will be laughing as you BOW to the Royalty that is ME!!! Anyway do you mean 'Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear'? Remus looked over my shoulder and asked... so he may or may not be right.  
Your Now Competator,  
Sirius

Dear Elodie,  
You have my sympathies! I hope your friend Anna stopped hitting you!  
Anyway, these preps of yours sort of sound like the pranksters. They're not cruel but one of them is obsessed with the way he looks and they are annoying. Their names are Remus Lupin (the nicer of the four), Peter Pettigrew (the quiet one), Sirius Black (the obsessed-with-his-looks one), and James Potter (the leader and the one who gets on my nerves the most). I guess I have to admit they are good at what they do, and, yes, they are single. I couldn't tell you if they're cute or not.... maybe?  
I look forward to your next letter!  
Signed and Sealed,  
Lily


	5. Chapter 5

Lucy,  
Can't recall what you said about Lucy. Maybe you liked it? Anyway how can you hex me from England you slow... English person! Don't know but he keeps looking over but not over the shoulder so I can now call you names! Haven't decided of what to call you yet, but it's getting interesting. Anyway what are you saying about a hat?  
Same to you bud,  
Wolffe

James,  
My loyal servant,  
How long have you been chasing this 'Lilykins' of yours? Having any luck? If not this is your perfect chance of a lifetime! You are currently writing to a GIRL who would know what this Lily would want or not want from you! This means that I can help you get your 'love of a lifetime'? This could be one of the reasons that she isn't falling into your arms right now. Not really sure what else to write... How about that in exchange for my serves you must send me sweets! That would be wonderful, and kind.  
Your Royal Highness,  
Samantha Wolffe  
P.S. I do unforinatly write to Lucy, and tell Sirius that's it's all in a Pranksters work. He seems that way and has threatened to do just that so I'm having people I don't particuarly like hold and open my mail for me... I won't as why just so that you can honestly say you don't know if the police ask you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Severus,  
You can start calling me any way you like! Just don't do anything weird like Dear Rambling Ramsli. It will be taken offensively.  
So who are the four examples? Can you tell me about them?  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

Dear Remus,  
It's ok! It dried on the way here so now it's just wrinkly. But that's ok. It's awesome the you have a Poltergeist! We only have a banshee and she just roams the halls moaning and groaning about who knows what. It's sort of annoying, really. We call her the DED banshee. Elodie came up with it and it stands for DepressedED. She likes adding the extra suffixes at the end of words.  
I just looked up to find Sam jumping up and down with excitement. I think we're going to prank the preps so I better go. I'll tell you about them later!  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Dog,  
I accept your challenge. I want to up the stakes. The teachers have decided that we will all get to meet our penpals at the end of the year at a ball thingy. Whoever loses our challenge has to find the other person in the crowd and bow down before them, announcing them as the greatest prankster that ever lived. Can you deal with that, flatface?  
Your Superior Being,  
Elodie  
PS: Your friend seems smart. Why does he hang out with you?

Dear Lily,  
They have us outnumbered. Please tell me one or better yet two of them are useless! Please? Sirius Black is my other owlpal; he seems like a jerk. I dunno about the rest. I hear James seems nice; he's writing to my friend Sam. Y'know, the goo ball one. The one who spilled coffee all over my notes. And then turned the paper pink when she tried to transfigure them back to normal. That one. Yeah. The Remus one is writing to Anna. Dunno about him. Apparently he's a bookworm. I wonder; fiction or nonfiction? Do you know? Also, have you heard of any spells that can cross continents? Just wondering.  
Your Curious Friend,  
Elodie  
PS: Apparently Remus ends his letters similar to mine. STALKER!  
PPS: I really hope, for your sake, that these pranksters of yours are not really preps (though I wouldn't put it past Sirius the git). The thought is a scary one. Prankster Preps. Oh the Joy. The Terror. The WAR.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Wolffe,  
You are difficult you know that? I don't even know why I'm replying to you.  
Yes, as a matter of fact I can hex you. I can send you an envelope that is magical. When you touch it, you'll be hexed! It's very brilliant you see.  
Anyway, I was talking about the Sorting Hat, which, when you arrive as a first year, tells you if you're conceited, a smart-alack, an air-head, or brilliant.  
Hope your teacher isn't looking over your shoulder anymore,  
Lucius

My Queen,  
That's probably the reason that Lily has been blowing me off for the last six years! I told this to Remus and he was struck dumb by your wisdom. He just sat there, completely silent, and shook his head over and over again.  
Do you really think you can help me win my Lily? I have attached a bag of Pumpkin Pastries as your first Payment. What is your advice?  
Your Enthusiastic Vassel,  
James Potter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Anna,  
Thank you for your permission, and I will not insult you on purpose or in any other way.  
The four examples are four boys from Gryffindor. They always feel the need to torture me and humiliate me. One, the leader, is in love with my old best friend. She and I don't really talk any more. He's the one leading the attacks on me. The next is the 'school hotshot' as the girls call him. He's best friends with the leader and is twice as evil at times. The next one is rather round and annoying but not really dangerous. The last is a know-it-all. It's not that he's unproper, it's just that he does nothing to help anyone but his friends. Or rather doesn't stop them.  
Sorry for ranting,  
Severus

Dear Anna,  
These preps of yours sound intruiging. And your banshee sounds weird. As does your friend Elodie. But who am I to talk? James is also jumping up and down in excitement. Which means one of two things. Slytherins have been eradicated from the face of the planet, or Lily has just entered the room. Ah, it's the Lily option. A pity.  
Crap! What is it about Sirius that drives me to swear? James had approached Lily with yet another way to ask her out (wow, it was a new one. That's unique.) and was shot down brutally as usual. For some reason this set Sirius off laughing, and he almost knocked my ink bottle over on top of this letter!  
Now I have moved across the room, not that it helped much as now Sirius is stalk-I mean following me across the room, trying to 'beg' for my forgiveness. Oh great, now James has joined in. Who did I piss off enough to deserve this?  
Your Wondering Penpal,  
Remus

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Glow-die,  
We need terms and of coarse a way of scoring, any ideas? The teachers decided bubkiss over here but I think I can find out more on this Ball. Anyway the terms will be met, by you of coarse, and that will be the winnings as well. I CAN deal with that Glowy.  
Your Ruler,  
Sirius Black  
PS because he knows that I'm cool like that unlike your friends

Dear Elodie,  
Hm, I guess they're good pranksters... I'm looking at them from across the Gryffindor table and if I had to pick, I'd say Peter isn't much of a prankster. He mostly just follows the other three.  
To answer your question about Remus, I'd say he reads both fiction and nonfiction. I see him a lot in the library so that's how I know.  
I don't know about spells that can cross continents, but you can try sending something cursed? Why do you need a spell that can cross continents?  
I'm just a tad concerned....  
Signed and Sealed,  
Lily


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: We own nothing. Also, it has come to my attention that I haven't been stating that I am only a co-author in this story. Mana and Cole wrote this with me…..I wrote as Elodie, Remus, and James. Mana is Anna, Lucy, and Lily. Cole, wrote as the only people left. Which happen to be Sam, Sev, and Sirius. (The alliteration in that sentence is thick enough for you to choke on.)

Chapter 7

Lucy,  
Why of course I know I'm difficult! I've been called far worse so you're going to have to get more creative or I may become bored. You maybe replying because my sparkling personality has mad you do so. You see you can't touch me with your very WEAK magic. The envelope? Lame. You all let a hat decided? That is rather strange…  
Not so much to read but to see that I'm sending SOMETHING,  
Samantha Wolffe

My Enthusiastic Vassel,  
I don't believe that your friend Remus is so astounded by my wisdom that he is silent, but rather by you... Anyway yes, I can help you. And as I eat my Pumpkin Pastries I will tell you this, YOU ARE COMING ON TO STRONG TO START! You may look over this, sound out the big words and make sure you are clear. You are coming on to strong and if you keep that up she will never be able to look at you seriously. What I want yout to do is to treat her as anyother girl for about... two/three days with a reply to me. She will think of you and wonder 'Why has he stopped?' and maybe even 'I kind of miss it'. That would be the plan for now.  
Until our next session,  
Samantha Wolffe  
PS: A list of pickup lines is attached. Only use the ones approved by me. The rest are too cheesy.

Dear Severus,  
What?! They attack you?? That's total bogus! Lucky you, I've got a few pranks up my sleeve. Try a repeat spell, or perhaps leave them naked on the Quidditch pitch, or maybe even a spell that, whenever they look in the mirror, they see themselves as ugly. Hope these help.  
Always and Forever,  
Anna  
P.S. What are their names? I've got another pen pal in Gryffindor. Maybe he can help?

Dear Remus,  
I'm sorry for your friends. I'm sure they have good intentions. My friends are plotting at the moment. We're planning on setting the banshee on the preps. The preps are evil, by the way. They never leave us alone, so we get back at them!  
My other pen pal knows of four guys who won't stop bothering him. They're in your house so think you can help?  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Ugly Mug,  
I think that we should each challenge the other to do a prank and we go until one of us cannot or will not complete the prank. The rules are: No challenging us to prank our friends. No causing any true pain or death. No challenging the other to join the death eaters. Nothing that can get us expelled. Nothing that will cause irrepairable damage. Is this clear, and do you have anything to add?  
Your Unrivalled Sovereign,  
Elodie  
PS: One of your friends has already pledged himself to one of mine as her vassel. So don't be so sure of that.

Dear Lily,  
Thank you for the idea. As for the why of the spell...You don't need to know. I don't want you to be suspect when it finally takes affect. I'm thinking something along the lines of hairloss and acne.... Anyway, Sam is throwing around ideas like itch powder, sticky glitter, and howlers. Anna is shaking her head at us and suggesting that we stop this...then she said the itch powder would be a good idea but to make sure that it explodes all over him...or tell him it's some type of irresistable scent thing that he's supposed to put all over his clothes...or send him poisen ivy cream and tell him it's good for his skin....Oh that girl is good.  
I like some of these ideas. What do you think?  
Your Busy Friend,  
Elodie


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Wolffe,  
You are annoying me. As a fair warning, I refuse to speak to you again! For now, enjoy the present I left you.  
Wishing you ill,  
Lucius

My Brilliant Queen,  
I have enclosed a bag of Berti Botts Every Flavored Beans as Payment. For the last five days I have not even looked at my precious Lily. And she has not looked at me. It's very strange. She didn't seem to miss me at all. But who am I to judge how girls act. I'm sure she was simply desperate to see me right? Do you have any other advice?  
Your Admiring Vassel,  
James Potter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Anna,  
Thank you for your advice, but if I tried to stoop to their level… Well, let's just say that there are more people on their level than mine is all. I probably said too much in the last letter. I was just blowing off some steam. It's nothing really.  
I remain,  
Severus Snape

Dear Anna,  
You really shouldn't encourage them. They pantsed some kid in potions and used the term 'we had good intentions'. I don't even think they know what intentions are, but they decided to use it anyway. As Sirius said "It has good in it; how bad can it be?" My friends are weird.  
I don't think we have preps. Not like you seem to. Do all American schools have an infestation of preps, or is yours just abnormally populated?  
I guess I could help figure out who the guys are....Though I don't really know any groups of four except us....Wait. Who is your other Penpal again?  
Remus Lupin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Opponent of mine,  
I do agree to your terms, except I need one exception? I can not preform anything from 6am-9am. I am not awake and if I am I will not really honor the death and pain rule, is that fair? Anyway I do believe that you may go first since you are the most INNEXPERIENCED... shut up Remus I can spell just as good as a Kimbergartener... whatever that may be!!!!  
The one you shall bow too,  
Sirius  
PS: Yeah I heard about that... he's kinda obsessed with this girl and apparently your friend can help him. She's already helped Remus, Peter, and I. She made his shoes not kill us with smell!!!

Dear Elodie,  
Those ideas sound great! I do hope you're not going to send it to an unsuspecting individual. If you send it James or Sirius, I'm fine with that. They are driving me to my last nerve! James just tried to ask me out a moment ago.... again! He tried to use one of those pick up phrases. I'm beginning to think his pen pal is giving him ideas. Do you know anything about that?  
A little freaked out.  
Signed and Sealed,  
Lily


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Lucy,  
Darling, you seem to think that I am an idiot. Do not be fooled, I have idiotic qualities but I am not someone that would fall for such a simple curse. I mean seriously, a cursed seal? That was rather cleaver but as you may or may not know here in America we don't bother with such things. We rip the top of the envelope, easy. But when someone ELSE touched it and instantly made their eyes become the size of a cows... well let's just say we were all shocked. Though she looked more shocked than anyone the poor thing. Not really poor, I actually couldn't stop laughing at her, good thing it wasn't one of my friends.  
Ta-ta Lucy darling,  
Samantha Wolffe

My Admiring Vassel,  
You are doing splendidly! This is one way this could have happened, she simply doesn't want to encourage you to act the exact same way. Maybe she thinks that you are improving. Now what we shall do is SLOWLY (sound it out and read that again a few times) reintroduce you back into her life. We shall also be fixing the little niches need they become a problem. We shall start with the toes and work our way up. Here are a few things to start to notice about yourself and possibly your friends who might want to know this as well!  
Your socks, they must match, be clean, but rolled down or else you'll look like a nerd. your shoes, they need NOT to smell and you need to check WHEN YOU CAN that you didn't walk through anything, no checking in public, again don't be a nerd. Your pants, they must go to at least the top of the shoe, more is always good. Don't show less, that's just weird and acward! I mean ew!! And if you cross your legs make sure your actual leg doesn't show… ok?  
You may greet her politely and talk to her in small amounts about the weather and school NO MORE!  
With those little actions and thoughts in your head you will now have Lily that much closer to you!  
Your Highness,  
Samantha Wolffe

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Severus,  
Ok, just trying to help. Anyway, you avoided my question! You didn't tell me their names! My other pen pal in Gryffindor is Remus Lupin. Know him?  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

Dear Remus,  
Wow, you're friends prank innocent bystanders? I'm sorry. I guess what I meant was they have good intentions when they beg for your forgiveness?  
Every part of the United States of America is infested with preps. Some more than others, depending on they type of place. In any sense, preps are either highly liked or highly disliked.  
Anyway, my other pen pal is Severus Snape. Heard of him?  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fudge Face,  
I have your challenge already. Here is what you do. Do you know Lucy Malfoy? Highborn git who deserves to burn eternally in heck? He is the target of this prank. He said some very dirty things about my friend Sam that he deserves to die for. Feel free to involve James. I'm sure he's PO'd. Avenging her honor and all that. On the other hand, this isn't really honorable. There's this spell I created 'Quintople' that allows you to post words over a person's head and is almost as permanent as a permanent stick charm and just as difficult to remove. You also might want to suggest a strategically spilled shrinking potion to James. Anyway, the words I want you to post:  
"Muggle Lover; Zero to Peak in 1.5 Seconds"  
Signed,  
Elodie  
PS: You were killed by a pair of shoes? What's next; a drapery?

Dear Lily,  
You won't have a problem with this at all, which is good acos that could put a pretty big dent in our relationship. Is this the James who's in love with you? Why don't you go out with him? Is he not really cute?  
As for the phrases, yeah, Sam's helping him out... uh oh. Sam's making a cutting motion across her throat. I don't think I was supposed to tell you that. Oh well. It's in INK Sam.  
INK!  
Your sorry friend,  
Elodie


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Sam,  
Fine then. One day, you will be cursed, with one of my more brilliant curses and then you won't be so happy-go-lucky.  
Lucius

My Queen,  
We seem to have made much progress. I had my firest ever 'civil conversation' (as Remus put it) with Lily yesterday. I asked her about the Charms homework and quoted some stuff Remus said about it and she seemed suitably impressed. Our conversation lasted exactly 4 minutes and 37 seconds. (No Sirius. Counting the seconds does not make me desperate. You just don't understand true love.) Anyway, Peter pointed out that this is a record in the recent days (our normal conversations consisting of 'Lily! Will you go out with me this weekend?' and 'No Pothead, I won't' which lasts about 58 seconds all together.)  
I have considered your advice and extended my pants. I have also started doing my laundery more often and have learned a new spell that cleans my robes, socks, and shoes. It's very efficient (even if it took me several failed tries and forever to master it. ) What's next?  
Your Excited Vassel,  
James Potter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Anna,  
I understand that you are trying to help, but it's not such a simple thing. Yes, I know Remus Lupin. He happens to be the smart person in the group of four that torment me.  
I remain,  
Severus

Dear Anna,  
I have a confession. Or two. You know when I said that we are the only group of four boys in Gryffindor. It was true. We are the only group of four boys. And, well, that person in potions? His name is Severus Snape.  
Your Guilty Friend,  
Remus Lupin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diet,  
I do have the displeasure of knowing Lucy, brilliant name by your friend. I have just informed James after he read his letter... yeah he's going to be helping me. 'Quintople'... a lovely idea. And of coarse your sense of humor is rather... dare I say it? Brilliant. It will be accoplished by noon today... if not right after 9am!  
Signed Sealed Delivered, (as the muggles say)  
Sirius  
PS: No, next will be a motorcycle... just learned what those things were and I want one!

Dear Elodie,  
Oh, wow. Your friend Sam? Can you please tell her to stop giving James ideas? Today, when I opened my bag, a bunch of hearts fluttered out and started circling my head and singing. They were terrible singers too.  
About James, I guess he's cute because a lot of girls like him. I think he's annoying though. That's why I won't go out with him. Also, he sort of ruined my friendship with my former best friend. He's so cruel to him!  
Feeling a bit sad.  
Signed and Sealed,  
Lily


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks be to Jokegirl and .forever for reviewing. ^^

Chapter 11

Lucy,  
Cursed ink, more creative, but you're going to have to wake up a little earlier to get this wolf by surprise little girl. For the record, I don't believe I have EVER been…… "happy-go-lucky". Ok? Good.  
Wishing you the worst,  
Wolffe

My Excited Vassel,  
I'm going to start calling you James the Vassel because your current title somewhat confuses me and isn't as much fun to say. What we shall focus on today is from the waist to your neck. If in your next reply you can tell me about your head it would be appreciated… mostly because I don't know your hair or eye color or how long you want it. I'm not going to make you cut it unless your hair is longer than hers.  
Anyway let's start with the shirt, that is to go under your robes. It's wonderful that you are keeping everything clean, but when you wear the shirt don't have it 'wrinkle free' that says 'I have to much time on my hands' and that is nerdy. It must also NOT (not a new word but please notice it) have it tucked in all the way. That is if you tuck it in at all. If it hands lower than your zipper it's to baggy and you need to tuck it in a little or shorten it. Otherwise this is something you get a bit of choice on. If you guys wear ties over there NEVER have it all the way up, at least have one inch showing where it's not up to the collar, easy right? The collar must be down, it's really lame when guys have it up to be honest. And the last thing for today is the sleeves. If it's long sleeves feel free to push them up a little but NEVER to the elbow or above, it's kinda like the leg thing… Anyway if it's short sleeves just leave it alone ok?  
I believe this is my longest letter to you… odd. Your Queen is pleased that the conversation portion is going along swimmingly. Please keep this up until you can go through the whole body transformation. Ok? Write me soon!  
Your Beloved Queen  
Samantha Wolffe

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Severus,  
Oh bother as you English people like to say.  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

Dear Remus,  
Oh my Frogs! I can't believe you! Why?  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Asparagus,  
From what I hear, you did a good job. Congratulations. You passed your first prank with flying colors. What is my challenge?  
Your Appreciative Enemy,  
Elodie  
PS: Hm... maybe we should make it fly?

Dear Lily,  
I told Sam that you'd like her to stop. She blinked at me then burst out in evil sounding laughter before scribbling something down on her letter. I don't think she's gonna stop. As for your former best friend... maybe he was jealous of your relationship? Or maybe their rivals or something. Who knows? Anway, you need to cheer up. Try listening to some christmas music or something. Try to find the song 'Christmas Shoes'.  
It's the bestest christmas song ever.  
Your Helpful Friend,  
Elodie


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Wolffe,  
Little girl? You have no idea what I'm really capable of are you? The cursed ink and seal on the letters are the least of it. It's you that's the little girl. You, a mere girl who does not have a care in the world except what she will be doing to pass the time in the next hour. A blood traitor or mudblood.  
Not hoping for a reply,  
Lucius

Dear Queen Wolffe,  
I have taken you're advice to heart, though Sirius called me a bloody prat when he saw that my shirt was actually tucked in. Are you sure that this is going to help Lily like me? Sure she looked a bit surprised but she still didn't talk to me longer than 3 minutes and 23 seconds. (No Peter, I'm not obsessed because I count the time. What is with you people?) Anyway, I have something to confess. I was ambushed by a mysterious man in black who knocked me out and dumped me in the middle of the forbidden forest (a forest near our school that's filled with all kinds of territorial beasts) without my clothes or my wand. This lead me to realize the hidden blessings in the fact that Sirius had recently cursed my hair to be ankle length. Made me look like a girl in the photos, but it hid everything important. Wouldn't want anyone to get jealous. The girls might swoon. The halls of Hogwarts would be forever changed as girls would fight for the right to date me and I would have to beat them off and redouble my efforts with my precious Lily, which I might do anyway. Speaking of hair… Yeah, my normal hair length is 1-3 inches; it varies; and is a messy black that Remus says looks like a (dare I say it?) mop. (It doesn't look like a mop. My hair is just as perfect as the rest of me. Really.) My eyes are a handsome (not beautiful, handsome) emerald, and hmmmm… I dunno. Remus says to tell you that I have glasses and a slight bone structure (I'm a seeker. Did I tell you? Yet another reason for the girls to swoon.) Anyway, gotta go. Slughorn is coming closer and I have no idea what I've put in this potion. It's a funky purple color though, which is weird because everyone else's is green.  
Your Vassal,  
James Potter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anna,  
I don't understand what you mean...  
I remain,  
Severus

Dear Anna,  
I didn't do anything!  
Your Indignant Friend,  
Remus

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Die,  
Mine is not a simple task for you, nor is it something that should be passed on unless the person has proven worthy...  
Now, you will brew the potion attached. Most of the ingredients are in our greenhouse or garden areas, I'm sure you will find them just fine. You will place exactly one cup of the potion under a 'prep's bed and write their name on the side of the container. You must have it under soon after they fall asleep and just before they wake up you must take it back. You will enjoy the... beings that come to your 'preps'. Do not be afraid to mention the phrase 'jump their bones'.  
One who is awesome,  
Sirius Black  
PS: the only question is how?

Dear Elodie,  
Sorry, I couldn't find the song. I did listen to the radio though, and it helped! I'm worried about your friend Sam though. Today, when I got out my quill and started writing my essay for potions, all my quill would write was, "I love you, my Lilykins! We should get married!" I'm borrowing my friend Alice's quill to write this letter. I'm headed to the library to find a way to unjinx mine.  
Do you have any solutions for James?  
Signed and Sealed,  
Lily


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Lucy,  
Eat dirt and die.  
Worst wishes,  
Wolffe

James, my vassal,  
What are you trying to make that would come out purple when incorrect? Odd... My advice maybe a little short today on account of I was 'insulted' by Lucy and my friends are in an uproar... not fun. He called me a series of names of which I AM NOT!  
My advice today shall be keep good care of your face, no pimple/black heads are to be shown. But don't use make-up, that's lame for dudes. Use the spell 'Protalisos' but you have to do it for each black head and pimple, ok? The glasses are to be kept at a medium adjustment. Not all the way up, not slipping off your nose. Your mop needs a little something pal-oh-mine. What I recommend doing is taming it just a bit. Are you ok with that? When it comes to your hair I don't want it to completely change but a little twiking won't hurt. I recommend seeing 'Wizards Weekly' from September. Towards the back it had something for just this situation! Perfect for you. (No I don't read 'Wizards Weekly' I happen to know this because some pretty boy was complaining about it when we messed it up by putting puddy into his hair... good times).  
Anyway James write to you later ok?  
Queen Wolffe

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Severus,  
I'm writing to two people who are enemies...  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

Dear Remus,  
Exactly!  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WTF? Dork,  
Okay, I love your dog-like-in-a-hump-your-leg-way skeletons. They are great. I suppose that I need not tell you the preps reaction to this. Let's just say that any mention of relationships now leads to uncontrollable laughter. The end.  
Your next challenge... hm... Sources tell me that Lucy dearest has long hair. I have been experimenting with this spell... 'Liranos'. Ever heard of Medusa? Yeah, his hair will do something similar to hers... though some of them may be venomous. I haven't exactly worked out that glitch yet.  
You are an insult to awesome people everywhere.  
Prankster Princess Elodie  
PS: Well, I think we can spell the engine, and maybe a loss of weight spell... or two.

Dear Lily,  
Here is what you should do. Ambush James on his way to class. Or just tell him you want to talk to him; either way. Anyway, get him alone and knock him out. (Though the first option is better acos then he won't know that you were the one who did it.) Then take everything but his boxers (or tighty whiteys) even his wand, and magic him into the forest. The transportation spell is 'Qendicus'. I created it myself. Then give an anonymous tip to some camera kid that James Potter will be coming out of the Forest Naked.  
Sit back and watch the results with amusement.  
Send me a picture.  
Your Genius Friend,  
Elodie


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

-Does Not Reply-

My Queen,  
Your honor has been avenged! Lucy dear was laughing about that letter at the Slytherin table yesterday morning right before I knocked his pumpkin juice (laced with a little bit of something called a Shrinking Potion (I actually did this one right)) into his lap. Needless to say, his girlfriend was a little upset, but then I bigified her and she stayed in the hospital wing all today. (She was shrieking about being made fat. What is up with girls and their obsession with their weight?)  
Thank you for the advice about my hair, but I won't be using it. Much. I like it the way it is.  
I await your reply with baited breath.  
James, Knight Extraordinaire

Anna,  
I am sorry that it has turned out this way for you. I hope that I am not causing you any trouble.  
I remain,  
Severus

Dear Anna,  
What was I supposed to do? Knock them all out?  
Your Incredulous Friend,  
Remus

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's weird I know,  
I'm quite satisfied to say that the glitch that was a problem for you worked out splendidly! Yes, James, I actually KNOW what that word means, jeez. Anyway, I did it as he walked into his common room. Soon Slytherins poured out, some fell over and had a similar 'hair problem' while others ran screaming away from the victims. Ah, the joys of pranks...  
Well, on to business! This one is more simple, but no less satisfying... Remus? Hey, what are you... Hey! You Bloody Git! What do you-? No, I do not know why I feel the need to torture Slytherins! What if I say... it was your fault...? OW! Fine!  
Sorry... it's in ink so there's no denying that Remus ran into the room and got mad for no real reason...  
On to business (take two). I was saying that you put a charm on your enemies that makes them only say things that would make them hide in a corner for years regularly, but they think they are actually saying something 'brilliant' about themselves.  
Goodbye,  
Sirius Black  
P.S. Maybe there's some potion I could put into the engine-thingy?

Dear Elodie,  
I read your letter and I loved the plan! I made sure to carry it out before writing this letter.  
Here's what happened:  
I couldn't have James's friends suspecting me, Alice caused a distraction and I (covered in all black including a mask) ambushed James and made him drink a sleeping potion. Then, I dragged him to a broom closet where I took his clothes off (not one of the better moments of this prank) and used your spell to transport him to the Forbidden Forest. Alice and I spread the word, saying that we'd gotten word from someone that James was coming out of the forest in only his undies. EVERYONE was on the lawn. I took pictures of course!  
They're in the envelope!  
Signed and Sealed,  
Lily


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Lucy,  
I have decided that letting you die quietly like that would be unjust to the entire human race. So if you have even read the first word of this letter than you will wake up tomorrow with a wonderful (for me) surprise!  
Samantha Wolffe

My Knight in Shining Tinfoil,  
You are a wonderful avenger, and true to the name Knight Extraordinaire! I applaude your quick and reckless thinking while standing! I will remember this time and when I meet you I shall... what's that thing were you bow and I have a sword and I say stuff? Anyway, you will be promoted for this!  
Those around me wish to thank you for... 'saving the rather annoying Sam'. Elodie! That makes me all sad! No Anna I'm not yelling, I'm merely exchanging witting banter with my dear friend Elodie... Hold on James... I win! She doesn't think so, but on the inside I know she knows she lost!  
Your Admiring Queen,  
Sam

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Severus,  
No, no, you haven't. It's fine. I'm just trying to figure this whole thing out. Exactly why do they hate you?  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

Dear Remus,  
Well, no. But something would have been nice! You know, defend the guy! He's really nice, you know. Have you ever even talked to him?  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Sirius, (uh-oh. you know it's bad when I say that!)  
Your prank? Amateurish. I discovered that one in the summer before my first year.  
Anyway, as for MY wonderful prank... I bet even you could figure out who it's targeted at. (Use that tiny brain of yours Sirius. I know you can do it. Others may doubt that you even have a brain, but I have faith in your peanut is in there somewhere!)  
*There is a pause, during which Anna and I have this conversation*  
(Anna: Why must you always target the same person?  
Me: Because he is evil! He's the devil incarnate!  
Anna: Oh for goodness sake! You're the one who opened Sam's letter. You knew it was cursed!  
Me: Yeah, but I'm not intimidated by some measly Slytherins idea of curses!  
Anna: So why are you getting back at him?  
Me: He made my hair fall out! My beautiful golden hair! I'll kill him for this! Or, rather, Sirius will kill him for me!)  
(And in case you're wondering, I took a hair growth potion. I look good with short hair.)  
Anyway, Lucy darling is in for a surprise. I have an entire 'terror day' planned out for him, and if you complete it perfectly I'll forgive you for your last so called 'prank'.  
FIRST! During breakfast you will turn him into plankton.  
SECOND! Every word that comes out of his mouth should be 'I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie World' et cetera.  
THIRD! Get an enlarged piranha, and stick its mouth around his head. (Use a permanent stick charm.)  
FOURTH! His every written word should be 'Americans Rule! And I'm a bloody freakin' Git!'  
FIFTH! If he tries to insult anyone, his venomous hair should return!  
SIXTH! If his Medusa hair doesn't shut him up, his insult will turn into 'I'm insecure about my SIZE because my girlfriend said that a pencil is bigger.' ((Originally not fitted for the site but revised by the quick thinking of Cole and Ryn!))  
SEVENTH! Turn him into a fashion obsessed zombie!  
EIGHTH! I am running out of room... and should really stop now.  
The curses for these are attached to this letter.  
Your penpal,  
Elodie

Dear Lily,  
Congratulations! I love the pics! Very good job on the pranks!  
Your Proud Friend,  
Elodie


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Wolffe,  
Waking up with boils on my face was childish and tacky. I guess it must be 'revenge' for my attempt to curse you? Though I never did because you seem to have slaves doing your bidding for you. But don't worry; your trick wasn't all that humiliating because I knew the counter curse and no one seemed to notice.  
Not wanting a reply, though you seem to insist on writing anyway.  
Lucius

My Queen,  
Thank you for your praise!  
I shall try hard to live up to it! I'm not sure what the bowing think is called, but I'm fine with a promotion. Though what exactly can I be promoted to?  
Also, I am sure you won the witty banter with Elodie, according to Sirius she never admits her defeat.  
Your New and Improved, Updated, Knight,  
James

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anna,  
Hmmmm.... that is a great question. I do believe it started by me being an easy target. Though I think the other main reason is that I was once friends with Lily and James didn't like that his precious 'Lilykins' was talking to a Slytherin. That and I used to be friends with someone names Lucius Malfoy who was their enemy because of what he called the people he didn't like.  
I remain,  
Severus

Dear Anna,  
The guy and I haven't communicated nicely since the first year. He found out I wasn't a pureblood, and called me and my mates all mudbloods and blood traitors, and that was that.  
The beginning of our time as enemies.  
You Irritated Friend,  
Remus

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elodie,

Should I be concerned that you called me dear? Worrisome. Your words hurt me, El, deeply. I don't think that was very kind considering I'm supposed to 'kill' Lucy for you. What if I decide to give you an impossible? Tsk tsk tsk your poor persuasive skills. Yes I accomplished everything, no worries there. Now…what horror shall we do? A spell that fires backwards? A potion that only affects the brewer? A spell that actually works properly just to confuse Elodie? What to do, what to do? Hmmmm…… Well, let's leave this up to fate, shall we? Venom girl….we shall have you target a guy; yes it must be a gent. Anyway, what you will do is cast the combination of spells below at him as close together as you can. Simple right? I mean, it's only 12 spells. Sadly if you mess up….well, I guess I could start calling you Edward right?

Your controller,

Sirius Black

P.S. Got the motorcycle covered!

Dear Elodie,  
Thank you! I am quite proud of myself, as well! Thanks a lot for the ideas! Of course, James looks as if he has forgiven me which scares me a little. Do you have anymore brilliant ideas to repel him? Or maybe any suggestions for beating James and your friend Sam at their own game? Maybe you can sneak a peek at her letters and tell me what they're planning so I can be ready?  
Feeling Excited!  
Signed and Sealed,  
Lily


	17. Chapter 17

Gomenasai. *bows* I am so sorry. I accidently posted the wrong Remus letters for chapters 17 and 18, and it's taken awhile for me to realize...so sorry. -_-'

Chapter 17

Lucy,  
You could say I enjoy torment. Not so much on me as for revenge… I heard you had another problem besides my 'childish and tacky' prank. Shrinking your already nonexistent 'thingy' was somewhat cruel, but let's face it. It was pretty hard to see in the first place right? And your fat girlfriend? Nice touch from my side, if I don't laugh right in your face. My knight in shining tinfoil is the best in the world.  
Good luck with that,  
Samantha Wolffe

James,  
I have come up with a promotion title! It shall be....Head of the Royal Army! Yay you! This means you can boss people around without getting killed and you can stay at the castle! We will have much to handle, a war is coming. Sadly, but it is the truth! The preps are out numbering us!! We need to take action!! Did Malfoy and his chick walk around all day...with problems?  
Queen Sam

Severus,  
You mean like mudblood and blood traitor. Did you call them that?  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

Dear Remus,  
Ah. That's why you hate Lucius too. Severus said he was pretty mean. But Severus himself never said anything did he?  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

Sirius Black you idiot,  
It was simple work for a spell castor with my genius to complete the 12 spells. A kindergartener could've done it. Also, it's no use adding in a back-fire clause because I'm studying to be a spell maker so I could remove that part of the spell anyway. (You can't tell right now but I am sticking my tongue out at you.)  
Also… Edward, Siri-dear? Tut tut, I thought you'd be more creative.  
My next challenge… hm… ((Guen is now grinning people, be afraid))  
You will need: One Slytherin girl's uniform  
Cosmetics  
One pair of knee high boots  
Your prank… is on yourself. And, in part, Lucy. and the rest of Slytherin. Your instructions:  
Wake up and put on the Slytherin girl uniform. (You may elongate the skirt if you want to, but no longer than your knees, please.) You must wear visible make-up (mascara, eye-shadow, lipstick, foundation)  
Put one piece of your hair in the attached potion and give it to the house elves to put in the Slytherin goblets (it's made to affect the older boys (4th – 7th years)). Then go to breakfast.  
(Brownie points if the heels are higher than 3 inches.)  
Have fun, and be nice to the other little boys. ^^  
Your… well, I'm not your anything.  
Good Luck,  
Elodie

Dear Lily,  
That boy never gives up does he? I think that maybe you should read 'A Thousand Hexes to Drive Away Your Persistent Ex's' by Miri Wardner (of course, James is not your ex but the idea is the same). Sam has retreated into her bed and refuses to reveal any of her ideas. Apparently she heard about the prank and suspects me. (I wonder why?)(She congratulates you though, on the excellent conduction of a brilliant prank. Even if it was against her 'Knight'.) Anyway, I am enclosing a paper that contains some brilliant comebacks to come-ons. The next time James tries anything, just send one of these his way. (Rule #1 when trying to ditch a guy. Embarrassing him in public is almost guaranteed to work.)  
Your Mischievous Friend,  
Elodie


	18. Chapter 18

Again everyone, I'm so sorry. *bows again* However, you did get a sneak peek at Remus's future...poor kid. ^.^ Anyway, the letters make a lot more sense this way.

Chapter 18

Wolffe,  
Look, mudblood. I don't care for your childish pranks and torments. Your 'knight in shining tinfoil' as you put it will regret that he ever thought to prank me. I'll have you know I've mastered the Dark Arts pretty well, including the Unforgivable Curses. Ask your friend, he'll tell you that's quite common among Slytherins. As for you, I may not have allies at that school of yours, but if you continue to torment me, I will find a way to bring you misery.  
With great agitation,  
Lucius

My Queen,  
I adore bossing people around.  
As for war; I am ready when you are. Attached are some good pranks that have had remarkable success over here, including ones for hair loss, permanently sticking facial masks (y'know, the alien green ones?), and neon colored skin. It is from my experience that 'preppy' people care much for their looks, thus, the 'How to Destroy Preps' list. (See, I'm learning. )  
Your Proud General,  
James

Anna,  
That was Lucius, but alas I didn't say anything to stand up to him either. I wasn't his friend after a year of that but I was still his friend for that year.  
I remain,  
Severus

Dear Anna,  
I guess, but still...They're both from that group that thinks that purebloods are better than everyone else. Y'know, the Voldemort one? Though I have it on good authority that Snape is a half-blood himself. Dunno why he hangs out with that group.  
Your Penpal,  
Remus

Elodie,  
I will tell you about my day. Started at 8am, I'm up and trying to figure out if the zipper to the skirt goes in the front, side, other side, or back before finally finding the tag. (Girl's clothing is as confusing as the girls themselves!) I told my mates about this the night before and they laughed themselves to sleep. Thankfully Remus was helpful in the morning when it came to make-up… maybe a little TOO helpful?  
Anyway, James used his special "skill" to get to the kitchens "unseen" (ha ha) and the potion was set by the time I got down to the Hall. Breakfast was half over and I started following Peter, James, and Remus to the table. Thankfully (again) my friend Peter noticed and motioned discreetly that I should turn around.  
I'm sure you can tell that I was OVERLY SHOCKED to find that ALL the Slytherin males (4th - 7th) grinning at me like I was breakfast. "Morning Gentlemen" I recall saying. That… is when they pounced!  
All offering to walk me to class, carry my books, carry me (-.-), offering me seats, telling me good things, telling me things that would usually be followed with a slap in the face or a kick between the goal posts. To bad these boots and skirt somewhat imitated that option (-.-).  
Eventually (over the course of the day) Malfoy came up to me. I remember EXACTLY what that little GIT said.  
Lucy: Hey you're kind of cute… how about being my new girlfriend?  
Me: Don't you already have one?  
Lucy: I won't if you say yes, she's more like a pet.  
Me: I'm flattered, but I wouldn't go out with a boy who's no bigger than a pencil and has an obvious problem with bathing like you obviously do. Bye!  
That is what makes this day one that will go down in the books. I lived up to having slaves, and got a boat load of Slytherin guys into detention. Not to mention a bunch of girls for yelling "suggestive" things to try and get their boyfriends to stop following me.  
At one point they started getting a "Fuzzy-Feeling" and dropped like flies. They got in trouble for "sleeping" in the hallway, and Serena (my other half) disappeared from the halls of Hogwarts forever.  
By the look of the out come I would say this was a Victory!  
Your challenge will come after your response.  
I remain,  
Sirius Black  
P.S. I have noticed once more that you have called me dear. Something you wan to tell me Elodie?

Dear Elodie,  
I couldn't find the book in the library (go figure) but I ordered it and it should come in in a few days. Thank you for the come backs. They are very helpful.  
I managed to humiliate James this morning! You had to be there. He was tormenting Severus again, so I decided it was perfect timing and muttered a reverse spell so that instead of Severus acting like a chicken, it was James. Nobody knew it was me, but it was funny just the same.  
Signed and Sealed,  
Lily


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Lucy,  
If you lay one over-manicured hand on James I will personally rip your nonexistent 'thingy' off. As for your little 'threat' of coming after me? All I can say to you is bring it you ever loving moron. I am a pureblood just like you. Not really that good at guessing such a thing are you? I am well aware of what prebloods teach their kids, and I am fully prepared to kick your little over-privileged ass however far necessary.  
Hoping only misery comes your way,  
Samantha Wolffe

General James,  
I'm glad you like the sound of your new job. You have exceeded expectations! We have tested out the neon colored skin and hair loss with great effect to our enemy. You have learned well. Speaking of learn...how's Lily?  
Queen Samantha

Severus,  
What happened to Lily? Are you still friends with her?  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

Dear Remus,  
Probably because they're in his house and he has to live with them? Oh I know! They're a bad influence on him! We must save him Remus! Who's this Voldemort person?  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

My Apprentice,  
You have done well. You don't know where the zippers on skirts are? Obviously your reputation as a playboy has been extremely exaggerated. Maybe your rep as an 'infamous' prankster as been as well?  
So Remus knows how to put on a skirt? And, presumably, take one off? This disturbs me. He's writing to my friend Anna. I asked her about this, and she assured me that: No, he hasn't flirted with her, but (quoting) "I wouldn't really mind if he did." This worries me. Should I be concerned?  
What's my next assignment?  
Your master,  
Elodie  
P.S. Yes, it's because I've fallen madly in love with you over the duration of our little love letters. I tried not to fall, but something, possibly your romantic tendencies or irresistible charm, pulled me down.

Dear Lily,  
Severus, Severus, Sev, Sev.....oh! Your childhood friend! The one Anna's writing to! The one that has a crush on you! DON'T READ THAT!! I never said it! It never came from me! Wipe your mind of it! Crap. Anna's gonna kill me. If Sev doesn't first. (D'you know he said I sounded brilliant? He must be an awesome person. Plus, Anna and Sam like him, especially Sam because he compared her to James, her Knight in Shining Tinfoil.) Oh My Gosh. Why didn't I think of this sooner? Lily, the ultimate way to ditch a guy is to get a boyfriend! Is there anyone in your year that you like a lot? One that you can ask out? (And, perferably, one that can defend himself against James and the rest? Maybe Sev? You know him, and he has experience. Of course, he'll need a list of counter curses....)  
Lily, a list of counter curses (and the curses that they counter) is attached to this letter, in case you decide to ask out Sev. Or if he asks you out. Who knows?  
Your Brilliant Friend (have I done that already? It's true.),  
Elodie


	20. Chapter 20

Wolffe,  
Fine, blood traitor then. Whatever you are, you are a disgrace to the wizarding world.  
And as for _your _threat, I believe you're over a thousand miles away and incapable of carrying out any sort of threat. You don't know me, Wolffe, and don't think you're better, because at least I know my place in society.  
Hoping you die soon,  
Lucius

My Queen,  
I'm glad that you found good use for the spells. Somewhere out there their creator is clapping their hands at the job well done. I salute you.  
As for my Lily...she has started defending one of our greatest rivals. She has also been blowing me off a lot. I'm beginning to think that she doesn't like me.  
Your ever loyal General,  
James

Anna,  
It's hard to say, we don't talk. Then again whenever we are near each other she is surrounded by her friends. That or James is watching her closely so that no guy can approach her without him knowing.  
I remain,  
Severus

Dear Anna,  
Rescue Snape?  
Voldemort is a Nazi Wizard who believes that all muggleborns are scum and should be killed off, along with any pureblood that doesn't conform with his views. Basically, he's all tyrantish and all Down With Free Will!! Of coursh, mosh peopel don' agree wif thisss....(I wunder what tha' was tha' Sirus put in my drink....)  
Your Questuning Penpal,  
Remus

My Darling Elodie,  
Thank you.  
Just because I'm a playboy doesn't mean I go all the way! I'm saving myself! What are you trying to make me out to be; a whore? How uncalled for!  
Anyway, Remus is a pretty cool bloke! He's not a pervert if that's what you're worried about. And even if he was worth worrying about he is far enough away that you could probably intercept him before anything 'dangerous' happened to Anna right?  
Your assignment is a simple one. The potion may come across as....annoying. The fumes that come from making it make you easily annoyed. Sorry.  
Your victim(s) will need to drink the potion before sleeping, but about dinnertime should be good. Please enjoy the...entertainment you will find in the morning.  
Sirius Black  
P.S. Now, now, if you keep talking like that I may take you seriously (haha).

Dear Elodie,  
Severus likes me? That's not right. We've always been nothing more than just friends. No, I don't really like anyone in my year, but maybe I can ask Severus as a favor? No...that won't work. He already made it clear he doesn't want anything to do with me in our fifth year...He can't like me. That wouldn't make any sense.  
Very confused.  
Signed and Sealed,

Lily


	21. Chapter 21

Ryn: Okay people, I've finally caught up to the mistaken Remus letters...-_-'. Still thanks to everyone who reviewed (namely .forever and 1m4n) and I think everyone else can learn from their example... (hint hint).

Mana: She just wants you to review.

Ryn: And you don't?

Sam: Yes, but we don't obsess over it like you do.

Ryn: I'm not obsessed.

Sam: Denial.....

Ryn: Shut up.

(their argument fades into the background.....)

Lucy,  
Maybe you have a stick up your ass, but it seems that you are a happy-go-lucky person through and through. I mean coming up with such unique nicknames? Gosh, must be hard. If I'm incapable so are you...not a bright person, are you? What did your mother drink when she was pregnant with you? Bleach? I don't wish or want to know you, but I know I'm a better person than you. And how old are you? 'My place in society'. You are probably going to be a real pain in the ass to whoever your kid is.  
Heres to an early grave for you,  
Samantha Wolffe

General James,

I'm not sure what to say about Lily. One of my friends turns out to be writing to her....strangely she is saying you have been placing singing flowers around her? I don't know, I'd have to confirm. Anyway, I do not know what to do with her....I see your salute and raise you a bow.  
Queen Wolffe

Severus,  
Ah, so James is the stalker type. Sam is writing to him and she's trying to stop him from that habit. It's funny bacause Elodie is giving advice to Lily on how to lose James.  
In the meantime, our group has played another prank on the preps! They had bullied this one girl about her appearance os we substituted their shampoo with neon dye and put a spell on their lipstick and eyeliners to make their lips and eyelids swell to the size tennis balls. The neon dye and the swelling didn't take affect for an hour so that they would think they were okay but when they came for beakfast....Ah yes, very good prank that was. You could say we are the Secret Police around here.  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

Dear Remus,  
Yes, it's brilliant you see! We shall bring him to the good side! It wouldn't take much, I'm sure. He's really nice to talk to you know, so we can cinvince him to join our side!  
As for Voldemort, he sounds like a downright mustard (if you catch my drift).  
Did Sirius put alcohol in your drink perhaps? Please be careful, and don't do anything stupid.  
Always and Forever,  
Anna

Sirius, My Dearest,

You're welcome. Anytime, really.  
Whore? You said it, not me. I simply didn't expect Gryffindor's stud to be innocent. My mistake.  
Anyway, despite your questionable reputation, I have to admire your taste. Though I really odn't need to know that Crystal Marshall's right boob is bigger than her left, or that Courtney Manson's cheating on her boyfriend because he just can't satisfy her. (Imagine the imagery that went with that. I think I'm scarred for life.)  
I also didn't need to know that Courtney's boyfriend, Jason, who apparently tasted the potion when he kissed her, has had disturbing dreams about ME of all people! (Ew!)

So, for your next challenge, I want you to learn the spell 'Quinivros'. Use the sample scent and outfit provided. Just point your wand at both items and say 'Quinivros Lucius Malfoy'. Then be amused. (Make sure he's in a very public place when this happens. K?)  
Your Darling Elodie

P.S. It hurts how much you doubt me.

Lily, Lily, Lily,

I'm going to give you some advice. First. When a boy wants to fit in, he'll do stupid things (just like girls). He may even say things that he doesn't believe just to get included. Even call his best friend/crush a mudblood. Second, when he defies the very people that he wants to fit in with to talk to you, he's got it good. A total goner. And lastly, no teenage boy would beg and plead unless his very manhood (or his heart) was on the line.  
Think about this advice before you write me back.  
Elodie  
P.S. Sev's a great guy, whose heart is in the right place. He's been trying to be a better guy, but it takes awhile for old habits to die. Also, don't ask the guy out if you don't like him. You'd crush his heart. He'd never recover.

(voices fade back in)

Ryn: We have fans! Billions and billions of fans!

Sam: Three.

Ryn: Billions!

Sam: Sure....*pats Ryn on the head*

Mana: We would also like to apologize for any spelling and grammar mistakes. We would appreciate it if you would point out any serious mistakes. Thank you.

Sam: Please don't forget to review!


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

AN: Ah! Gomenasai for not posting for so long! I told someone I'd update every other day until I ran out of chapters but the world made me out to be a liar for various reasons and I'm sorry! (Stupid internet, stupid internetless vacations, dang dead zones....)

Blood Traitor,

There's a major difference between your 'bright' and 'happy' nicknames and mine. Does Blood Traitor look happy to you? No. It clearly points out your major 'flaw' shall I call it.

Like I said before, I will find a way. Like they say, "Where there's a will, there's a way" and I will most definitely find a way.

Also, don't talk about my mother like that. She is way more sophisticated than yours will ever be. You and your American ways.

Here's to an even earlier grave for you,

Lucius

My Queen,

I have come to a shocking conclusion. I'm not sure that I'm in love with Lily anymore. I'll give you a second to absorb this shocking fact......

…................................................................................

Yes. Anyway, how do you tell whether you're in love with a girl or not? I mean, I've loved Lily since, well, ever, and I'm not sure how to react around her now.

My Queen! I don't know what to do!

Your Distressed General,

James

Anna,

That sounds rather interesting...I like the idea though. He is indeed the stalker type.

Though don't you think your friends should be aware that one is trying to help and one is trying to prevent that help? Isn't that kind of confusing to the people they are trying to help? That can't be good if they ever got around to comparing notes...

I remain,

Severus

Dear Anna,

To late. I'm not sure exactly what they made me do, but everyone keeps laughing at me when I meet their eyes, so it must be bad. I'm currently hiding out in the library, reading up on vicious curses that I can use (legally) on my two delinquent friends. Surprisingly, the two that did it were Peter and James. Sirius was to busy fretting over his letter to your friend Elodie.

Anyway, I suppose Snape could be redeemable. Though the subject will have to be approached cautiously with my friends. Maybe I should talk to him. And him to me? You understand, that I really don't want to do this and am only 'betraying' my friends (that's how they'll see it) because you asked it of me.

Your Resigned Penpal,

Remus

Darling darling Elodie,

I'll hold you to that.

I'm saving myself! Seriously (haha)!

Thank you. And now I know things about people I did not wish too. (No I will NOT imagine it!)

Can I hurt this Jason guy...uh for you?

My challenge can be summed up in two words: to easy. Malfoy looked horrid, really. He doesn't have the legs for fishnet tights. Nor for bells or a bunny girl costume. And the ears? You DID know he has platinum blond hair didn't you? The black color was...surprising.

Another question comes to mind. What exactly was the 'scent'? Why did weasels swarm when he walked by the forest or by an open window? Not that I'm complaining but it is strange indeed.

In case you have no idea what I'm saying I have added a copy of your last letter to me, as I have written in the order that your letter addressed them. By the way, thanks for the new name!

Gryffindor's Stud,

Sirius Black

P.S. I do not doubt you any longer! I can tell by the way you say nothing but kind things to me! Quick, jump into my arms!

Dear Elodie,

Well, I don't know....I wasn't going to crush his heart. I was just going to ask as a favor to pretend because he hates James so it would be a way to get back at him or something. I really don't understand this whole guy/girl thing. It's quite frustrating. I don't know if I like him that way. I've never thought about it.

Signed and Sealed,

Lily


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

A/N: Yay! Yet another chapter! Hope you enjoy it! :P Also, some of the letters don't quite meet up.....some events aren't mentioned in others, and some are in two or three different chapters.....

Lucy,

In America it is not uncommon to see a muggle and a pureblood talking on the street. Not that the muggle knows but I believe you understand what I am saying. I don't care what little nickname you give me, I can live with it. And to me? It sounds beautiful. No mother to speak of, don't go all sappy on me though. I've still got my old man!

Proud to be an AMERICAN!

Samantha Wolffe

My General,

I do not know what to tell you. When you asked me, 'How do you tell whether you're in love with a girl or not?' I was shocked.

I don't have an answer to this. When I asked my friends they gave me answers like 'When you can talk to her easily,' and 'You want to be around her'. There was also one 'I don't know, I've never been in love with a girl' from Elodie. I'm sorry that you are confused, you shouldn't be.

I haven't been in love, let alone with a GIRL. Why don't you see what made you fall in love in the first place? Music, quidditch, et cetera.

Over and out!

Queen Sam

Severus,

My friends are very aware of this and have made it a sort of competition...Neither wants to compare notes for that reason. Though it would be interesting if they did. I'm not one to take sides, but I'm sure it would help Elodie if you tried hanging out with Lily more.

Always and Forever,

Anna

Dear Remus,

And no one will tell you what happened? Not even Sirius who had nothing to do with it? How about...a repeat speech spell?

You can make them say whatever you want and watch gleefully as they make fools of themselves.

Ok, if you don't want to betray your friends then don't worry about it. Elodie and I sort of have a plan of our own. :D

Always and Forever,

Anna

Stud boy,

Good luck with that.

As for hurting Jason....I told Sam and Anna about it, and they laughed! ~pouts~ They don't want to defend my honor or anything! They just laughed! I expected it from Sam, but Anna was definitely unexpected! I feel abandoned! ~Goes off to sulk in a corner.~

As for the scent...it's called pheromones my friend. A benefit of muggle science. I have recently obtained wasp pheromones and was contemplating using it on Sam and Anna but I found out that Anna is allergic to wasp stings. ~pouts again~ Plus I can't hurt my two bestest buddies!

You didn't send me a prank. Oh no! I have come to a shocking conclusion! You have abandoned me too! ~faints~ (Sam says I need to stop going to drama club. I objected strenuously and moved away.)

Your Benefactor,

Darling (Abandonified) Elodie

P.S. I will jump once I find a convenient balcony and a pogo stick.

Lily,

Asking out a guy who loves you when you don't love him back will crush him. Period.

Also, I have it from good authority that Sev hates being caught in the middle of wars.

About the guy/girl thing.....Here are some questions for you to think about. Do you like hanging out with him? Can you talk to him without having awkward silences? Does he listen to you, and you to him? Do you have things in common? Do you trust him at your back? (You might also want to compare these answers to ones that you would have about James. What makes Sev friend material that James doesn't have? Respect maybe?)

Also, is he good looking? If he isn't I can always get copies of Sam's advice to James (don't ask how) and have Anna send it to him. Or have Anna ask. That might work better.

Your Hopeful Penpal,

Elodie


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Sorry it took so long! We had finals and then we(I) ran out of Lucy and Sev letters! Gomenasai! **Bows**. Also....PERMANENT DISCLAIMER! It has come to my attention that I have been neglecting this...I Do Not Own Harry Potter!!! Neither do my cohorts!! If we did we wouldn't be writing fanfiction and the entire series would be focused on the girls! Or maybe not..... Also, PLEASE review! Even if it is only to tell me that this chapter was pathetically late and that I'd better update soon. We love to hear from you!

Blood Traitor,  
Old man, huh? Are you sure he's not going to crack any minute?  
You shouldn't be so proud,  
Lucius

My Queen,  
I have found that I do not know any of these things about Lily. I doubt she knows anything about me either.  
What about you? What's your fav Quidditch position/team/etcetera? What music do you like? It has occurred to me that as your General I should know these things about you.  
Salute and Bow,  
General James

Anna,  
What about the people they are helping? Won't that only hurt them? That doesn't seem fair at all to them. Using them as a competition isn't something that is fun if you are the pawn; I'd know!  
I remain,  
Severus

Dear Anna,  
Lily told me what happened. Apparently they turned me into a girl and had me 'accompany' Peter for the evening. Nothing to bad happened because apparently, even drunk and a girl I told Peter I wouldn't date him 'if the world were being taken over by sandbobbles and he was their king who was the only one who could save me from being turned into a stinky goo monster and eaten by the goo loving bobbles' or something along those lines. I am so freaking embarrassed. I had to apologize to Peter, who is also hiding out and not being able to face anyone.  
Anyway, Severus walked into the library the other day while Lily and I were talking (yes, I am making an effort to use his name) and I invited him to come sit with us, much to the other two's shock. At first it was awkward, what with Severus being all uptight and Lily blushing and me not knowing what to say, but we ended up talking about potions and it turned out fairly well.  
Your Embarrassed (and slightly weirded out) Penpal,  
Remus

Sweet-thang,  
Thank you!  
I'll happily make sure he never lays a single finger or speaks a single word to you ever again!*Starts throwing chocolates into Elodie's corner so that he can get closer safely; ends up sitting with her and all the chocolate.*  
See? I would never abandon you! I am loyal! Dog-like, some say...heh. Anyways, I do have a prank for you. Nothing special really. Something you can do to Anna and Sam that will be harmless but effective! I'm sending you some magic chocolate! Don't eat it...well....I recommend you don't. What happens ater digested is they will accept any challenge if you use the words, "(insert name), I dare you to..." and end it with "...understand?" Could have some fun if you get the right crowd and challenge. You might already know what to do...  
YOU ARE NOT ABANDONED!!!!  
Stud boy,  
Sirius Black  
P.S. Should I be concerned?

Dear Elodie,  
Yeah, I guess you're right. As for the questions...Snape: yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.  
James: no, haven't really talked to him but I'd say no, kinda, not really, nope. ...I guess I see your point.  
I've never really though about Severus's appearance. I guess his hair is a bit greasy...but he is good looking.  
Signed and Sealed,  
Lily**  
**


End file.
